Anger management tips: Improving your health

Exercise plans | Healthy Diet | Sleep problems | Impact of stress | Results of Anger

The need for anger management tips

More than any other emotion, anger can have a serious impact on health long term as well as create tension on a daily basis. It immediately affects me physically and emotionally. A sudden outburst of anger will sap energy for the rest of the day and on into the night. This could be termed an intermittent explosive disorder. Left unresolved these issues can block sleep and grind a person down with frustration and guilt.

Slow burning anger is often more sutle. Resentment, irritation, impatience, or feelings of insecurity or bitterness can wear a person down over time. Prolonged levels of this kind of anger can cause elevated blood pressure, threat of heart disease, and other anger disorders.

An angry person may see the problems caused by anger, but has diffficulty getting out of the vicious cycle.

Causes of anger

Pride Having an attitude of superiority is a common trigger for hurt feelings. When others don’t recognize this superiority, there is often tension. Showing contempt for anothers point of view or position is a way of showing dominance. Boasting draws attention so that others will notice greatness. When this person is not recognized as they hope, this then becomes a cause of anger.

Selfcenteredness The selfcentered person insists on having their own way and often expects to be the center of attention. Things need to be done on their own schedule and for their own convenience. This person may attack those who oppose them or withdraw completely. This could result in a long term underlying bitterness.

Bitterness There is always the chance of being hurt by another person, group of people, or by circumstances. The pain suffered can lead to resentment and anger that can take root and grow through time. Lack of forgiveness makes it hard to overcome the roots of bitterness. Anger can explode out in unrelated areas as it festers under the surface. This hurts the angry person and alienates others.

Fear or insecurity Everyone faces danger or crisis. Situations that cause fear can be traumatic experiences. They can be draining and painful. Also, our inability to deal effectively with crisis may leave us feeling shameful or inadequate. Having to go through these times can activate anger toward the perceived cause. If another person is the cause, they may get a large portion of wrath and endure insults poured out on them. Anger becomes a reaction to our hurt.

Violation of rights or space Most people have an agenda for how they want to live their lives. Within limits we have the freedom to do just that, especially in the United States. We have the freedom to decide where to live, how to live, how to spend our time and money, and how to spend our free time.

This may be tested, however, in the daily grind of life. The boss may require overtime or block a promotion. Our children may be difficult to deal with and require additional attention. The neighbors may disagree on noise levels or on boundaries.

How should these issues be dealt with? The initial tendency is to try to resolve these problems with understanding and patience. However, if the issues still crowd in, irritation, frustration, indignation, and hotheaded wrath sometimes follows.

The after effects of anger

Relationships are fragile. A quick sharp comment or a long standing argument can cause barriers between people. Sometimes this separation can go on for years.

Anger often escalates if not dealt with quickly. The impact physically, emotionally, mentally can be severe on both sides. The damage done through abusive relationships may be difficult to heal.

By modeling poor anger control techniques, parents may pass on inappropriate behavior to their children.

Finally, the person who is filled with anger may be trying to hurt those around them. The angry person is hurting themselves more.

There are many anger poems that reflect the issues listed above. Here is one that captures the thought and emphasizes the importance of controlling anger:

Rejecting Anger

When wronged by my neighbor, I simmer and reject
Instead the right course is to forgive and to respect
If others don't listen to what I have to say
I should not glisten and then force them to pay
As pressures are applied I often rebuke and place blame
to show mercy and compassion is a healthier game
Life all around can be quite a pain but that's no reason to treat others with distain

------- From the author

Challenges that you will face

There are times when kids don't do what they are told. If the parent is not in the right frame of mind, they sometimes explode, yelling at the kids in a loud voice. This may bring on the feeling of being drained and often times defeated and moody.

A child may have a tendency to excessively tease their sibling. They are told to stop, but somehow it gets ignored. This raise the hackles on the back of the parents neck. Through clinched teeth, the parent lashes out at the child. This anger rarely gets the results I want. The kids brace themselves against the emotion and don't get the point. The wrong behavior or attitudes seem to get repeated and progress in minimal.

Experiencing the anger of others is also painful. There is a tendency to stay clear of those who display anger frequently. The one who is angry can then become isolated and depressed.

The tendency is to set up barriers or reject the one causing the pain. Healing can be a lengthy process. Nurturing, loving, encouraging relationships can be lost.

Anger can lead to problems with in relationships that are intended to be close. Spouse, children, coworkers, neighbors and friends. Sometimes we hurt the people that are the closest.

Anger Management tips

There are a number of things that have been helpful to me in promoting healthy anger control:

• Take a humble stance.
• Listen
• Speak in an accomadating way.
• Speak assertively.
• Forgive and Forget.
• Put yourself in the other persons shoes.
• Patience. Be willing to take the time necessary to work through the problems.
• Be consistent.
• Don't accept angry behavior in yourself. Don't say, "That's just the way I am." Look at it as a personality disorder that needs to be addressed.

Overall, other areas of my health are impacted. My sleep is disrupted by the emotions, guilt, and apprehension that anger brings. My diet slips through wanting some external comfort that "junk" food might bring. And I don't exercise properly because the anger has taken so much out of me.

Just knowing the negative impact of anger, makes me want to consider anger management tips.

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