Character traits and parenting

List of character traits

How are your children doing with character issues? The list of character traits below is a fairly complete list of traits that focus on desirable and necessary qualities as well as things you would like to see less of. Review the list and identify how they are doing in each area. Getting a good understanding of the meanings of various character qualities will determine what education is needed for your children and their development.

Click on the link here to see dictionary definitions for each of these character attributes: definition of character traits

If you created your own list of character traits, what would you add to the list?

This will be challenging. Having a strong character makeup does not come naturally with kids. Children usually don't say, "I am going to watch how my parents handle issues. I will then follow what they do". No. Instead, they just observe and over time they tend to handle practical life issues and challenges in similar ways. The moral quality of the parents will usually become the inner character of the child. This is a great opportunity for parents to model worthy attributes and nurture right behaviors.

Take stock in how you as a parent deal with life issues. The following questions are helpful in thinking through positive character traits. In fact, take these questions and develop a character trait worksheet that will help you build an action plan for nurturing your kids.

In my relationships with others, am I patient and understanding? Do I have the best interests of others at heart or just myself? When things go wrong do I get angry and assign blame? Do I cave in when pressure situations arise? Is my reputation spoken of as being upright and honorable? Do I have good standing with those around me? Do I have the appearance of being prideful or do I humbly serve others?

Do I make decisions based on solid values or do I take the easiest path? Do I follow through on my commitments? Is my behavior consistent with everyone or do I play favorites? Do I talk about others behind their back? Do strong principles rule my life?

Parenting and character building require being good role models. This is probably the best way to get positive character traits into children. I often need to review my behavior and ask, "Is this really up the standard that I want for myself?" Write down your thoughts and give specific examples. This will help clarify where you are and emphasize areas that need addressing.

Get Feedback from others

Sometimes we have blinders on. Solicit honest feedback from others to get insight that otherwise may be lacking. Look to those who know you and spend time around you. It might be scary, but your spouse can be a good source as well. They will probably be very motivated to help and participate.
Talk about challenges and how you would approach and resolve them. Others can often share their experiences in teaching character development. Generally, we want advice and guidance instead of criticism. Parents know when they are blowing it and not being effective. Accept any encouragement that will help you go in a stronger direction.
Ideal friends will balance honesty and encouragement. Getting a clearer picture, helps get focus on the changes that are needed. Give permission for others to give their honest evaluation. And be ready to accept constructive criticism. Good relationships go a long way in helping parents and character building activities. Strong character traits in children require input from many sources.

Weak character is easily passed on to children. There are many issues that come up daily. Kids will see parent interaction with others and observe how they deal with challenges. As they see issues resolved in constructive and healthy ways, they will begin to emulate the same patterns. They also need to see me fail and then watch how I recover. And they need to see me apologize when I am wrong. Your true character will become evident through how you live your life. Demonstrate what good character is. Practice it on a consistent basis. This is a key part of educating your kids for the future.

Talk to children in clear, understandable terms. It takes a conscious effort to let your children see into your world. Exercise wisdom in determining what is appropriate for younger ages.

Many circumstances involve adult issues. Still, there are teaching opportunities in most areas. Parents really want to raise children with positive character traits. Character education and development is key. Describe what desirable character looks like and what the benefits are. Show your kids examples that they will begin to recognize and begin to emulate. This is an excellent way to demonstrate leadership within the family.

Pour yourself into your children

Stages of child development are different for every child. Early experiences may give some children a head start in developing key strengths and personality attributes. However, normal development will come as issues are faced in a loving and nurturing environment. This needs to be a priority in the parents life. Troubled children will take even more time and effort.

Character building for older children and teens deals with many new issues. Interpersonal relationships and moral problems will require parents to be constantly involved with their older children. It should not be expected that early childhood training will address the complex issues that young people face. It is often hard to approach teenagers and get them to see the dangers. Talking academically about character issues will probably bore them. Exploring specific topics about dating, sexual intimacy, teen pregnancy, sports, and other relevant topics can make character education programs interesting and "mind-catching". This developmental stage will test strength of character of both parent and teen. Stay close to your teenagers through this challenging time.

Children are not like ships that are christened and sent off at birth. They need nurturing and direction as they grow up. As time goes by, they participate in many things outside the home. Parenting and character development occur in these activities as they try new things and interact with others. Decision making opportunities will multiply through time.

It is important to keep close watch over their activities and the potential impacts. This includes school, sports, clubs, within families, and time spent with friends. These activities can be either good or bad. This will require paying close attention to the details of their lives. It will also take a strong hand to steer your children away from negative influences. Regardless, building strong character traits happens in the context of experiences, relationships and activities.

Be present in your kid's lives

Spend significant time with your children. Plan family activities and time together. As parents and/or children get older and busier, this is easier said than done. Without this time, however, good character traits and patterns won't be observed.

It may require making sacrifices to ensure that ample face time happens. Less time at work or less time with personal hobbies may be what is needed. Setting time aside is well worth the sacrifice and should be a clear priority.

Time together, however, is not enough. A family can be caught up in a whirlwind of activities without really interacting. Quality is essential. Spend time talking about character issues and how to handle difficult life situations.

Parents should share problems and ask for input from the kids. This gives the children opportunity to think about life issues that may not have come up with them yet. Listen to their responses, attitudes, and their concerns. Describe how strong values can help in dealing with life problems.

Be alert as the kids change

Talk is one thing. Actually being involved in challenging circumstances can be far more stretching. There are many opportunities to put ourselves in the path of challenging situations.

It may require getting involved where there is risk of being hurt or experiencing discomfort. Reaching out to those who are ill or having difficulties takes leadership, courage, and compassion. Challenging someone who is out of line can be risky as they are approached. Planning these kinds of strong character building activities will draw the family together and enable focus on character. Parents want children who will make smart choices in private and use good judgment when making decisions involving others.

Address negative character traits

Children face challenges all through their growing up years. There are issues of succeeding in school, sports, and other activities. There are interpersonal relationships that will be challenging. Responding correctly does not happen automatically. Negative child behavior and attitude could be symptoms of the lack of strong character training. Kids need discipline.

Each child will face difficult situations repeatedly. Sometimes they take a step back and sometimes they are successful in handling difficulties. Don't suffocate, condemn, or expect perfection. Actions should not just be a set of rules, but a response from the heart that is willing to do what is right.

Inner character is often overlooked. Applaud and celebrate your children's outstanding character achievements. The key is consistently teaching good character traits to your children. Understanding your child's personality type will also help deciding what teaching style works best. The goal is to have your child become a person of character

They will need poise and a strong constitution to hold onto their beliefs and to defend them. The moral fiber of your children will determine the value placed on citizenship. They will be distinguished and praised for serving others. Trends and appearence will be secondary. In business, they will have an ethical mindset and a reputation for making wise decisions.

This is the goal of character building for parents. Firm, consistent attention will win in the long run.

Final Thought

Developing solid character traits into your children will prepare them to do the same thing with their children.

Other resources related to strong character traits and development.....

Leaving Character | Returning to Quotes about family

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