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Character traits and parenting

Teaching good character traits helps children handle life issues effectively. There are many tough decisions, crisis situations, and challenging relationships that require good judgement and positive character. This training is best started at a young age. It is not easy. The question, "How do I get my children to...", is often heard. Character education lessons takes energy, planning and considerable wisdom. If you feel your children are not on the right track, the right time is always now to get started.

Parenting Sub-catagories:
        Babyname pressure
        People skills
        Self Esteem
        Character
        Responsibility
        Encouragement
        Discipline
        Achievement

Having a strong character makeup does not come naturally. Children usually don't say, "I am going to watch how my parents handle issues. I will then follow what they do". No. Instead, they just observe and over time they tend to handle life issues and challenges in similiar ways.

Stages of child development are different for every child. Early experiences may give some children a head start in developing key strengths. However, normal development will come as issues are faced in a loving and nurturing environment.

Character building for older children and teens will deal with many new issues. Interpersonal relationships and moral issues will require parental attention. It should not be expected that early childhood training will address the complex issues that young people face. It is often hard to get a teenagers attention. Talking academically about character will be boring. Exploring specific topics about dating, sexual intimacy, teen pregnancy, sports, and other relevant topics is a good way to make character education interesting and "mind-catching". This developmental stage will test the character of both parent and teen.

Examine your heart

Take stock in how you as a parent deal with life issues. The following questions are helpful in thinking through positive character traits.

In my relationships with others, am I patient and understanding? Do I have the best interests of others at heart or just myself? When things go wrong do I get angry and assign blame? Do I cave in when pressure situations arise? Parenting and character building require being good role models. This is probably the best way to get positive character traits into children.

Do I make decisions based on solid values or do I take the easiest path? Do I follow through on my commitments? Is my behavior consistent with everyone or do I play favorites? Do I talk about others behind their back?

I often need to review my behavior and ask, "Is this really up the standard that I want for myself?" Write down your thoughts and give specific examples. This will help clarify where you are and emphasize areas that need addressing.

Get Feedback from others

Sometimes we have blinders on. Solicit honest feedback from others to get insight that might otherwise be lacking. Share with others who normally spend time around you. This could be your spouse as well.

Talk about challenges and how you would approach and resolve them. Others can often share insight that will help us in teaching character development. Generally we know when we blow it. Close friends can give encouragement to go in a stronger direction.

Ideal friends will balance honesty and encouragement. Getting a clearer picture, helps get focus on the changes that are needed. Give permission for others to give their honest evaluation. And be ready to accept constructive criticism. Good relationships goes along way in helping parents and character building activities. Strong character traits in children requires input from many sources.

Being a role model

There are many issues that come up daily. Kids will to see parent interaction with others and how they deal deal with challenges. As they see issues resolved in constructive and healthy ways, they will begin to emulate the same patterns. They also need to see me fail and then recover. And they need to see me apologize when wrong.

Talk to children in clear, understandable terms. It takes a conscious effort to let your children see into your world. Exercise wisdom in determining what is appropriate for younger ages. Many circumstances involve adult issues. Still, there are teaching opportunities in most areas. Parents really want to raise children with positive character traits. Character education and development starts here.

List of character traits.

How am I doing with character issues? The list of character traits below is a partial list of virtues focus on desirable and necessary qualities. Review the list and consider how you are doing in each area. Getting an understanding of what character education is needed for your children is key for their development.

Also, please click on the following link to see definitions for each of these words: Definitions of character traits

Highly valued Character Traits List
Adaptable	Diligent	Hospitable	Self-control
Brave	Efficient	Humble	Sensitive
Careful	Encouraging	Integrity	Sincere
Compassionate	Energetic	Mercy	Thorough
Concerned	Enthusiastic	Obedient	Trustworthy
Confident	Fair	Patience	Tolerant
Conscientious	Faithful	Peaceful	Unselfish
Considerate	Forgiving	Persevering	Wise
Cooperative	Friendly	Positive
Creative	Generous	Persuasive
Decisive	Gentle	Respectful
Dependable	Honesty	Responsible

If you created your own list of character traits, what would you add to the list?

Observe children's behavior

Children are not like ships that are christened and sent off at birth. They need nuturing and direction as they grow up. As time goes by, they participate in many things outside the home. Parenting and character development occurs in these activities as they try new things and interact with others. Decision making opportunities will multiply through time.

It is important to keep close watch over their involvements and the potential impacts. This includes school, sports, clubs, and time spent with friends. There are many avenues that positive character is shaped. This will require attention to the details of their lives. It will also take a strong hand to steer your children away from negative influences.

Conscious effort

Spend significant time with your children. Plan family activities and time together. As parents and/or children get busy, this is easier said then done. Without this time, good character traits won't be observed.

It may require making sacrifices to ensure that ample face time happens. Less time at work or less time with personal hobbies may be what is needed. Setting time aside is well worth the sacrifice and should be a major priority.

Time together, however, is not enough. A family can be caught up in a whirlwind of activities without really interacting. Quality is essential. Spend time talking about character issues and how to handle difficult life situations.

Parents can share problems and ask for input from other family members. This gives children the opportunity to think about issues that may not have come up with them yet. Listen to their responses, their attitudes, concerns.

Taking action to build positive character qualities

Talk is one thing. Actually being involved in challenging circumstances can be far more stretching. There are many opportunities to put ourselves in the path of challenging situations.

It may require getting involved where there is risk of being hurt or experiencing discomfort. Reaching out to those who are ill or having difficulties takes courage and compassion. Challenging someone who is out of line can be risky as they are approached. Planning these kind of strong character building activities will draw the family together and enable focus on character.

Responding to negative character traits

Children face challenges all throught their growing up years. There are issues of succeeding in school, sports, and other activities. There are interpersonal relationships that will be challenging. Reponding correctly does not happen automatically. Negative child behavior and attitude could be symptoms of the lack of strong character training.

Each child will face difficult situations repeatedly. Sometimes they take a step back and sometimes they are successful in handling difficulties. Don't expect profection. Don't sufficate, condemn, or expect perfection. Actions should not just be a set of rules, but a response from the heart that is willing to do what is right. The following quotes about children show the necessity of a positive attitude toward character building training.

Attitude quotes about children
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank
Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction. - Anne Sullivan
Becoming responsible adults is no longer a matter of whether children hang up there pajamas or put dirty towels in the hamper, but whether they care about themselves and others -- and whether they see everyday chores as related to how we treat this planet. Eva Leshan
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted. Garrison Keillor
If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example. - George Bernard Shaw
Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. - James Baldwin
If you as parents cut corners, your children will too. If you lie, they will too. If you spend all your money on yourselves and tithe no portion of it for charities, colleges, churches, synagogues, and civic causes, your children won't either. And if parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass on the poison adults still have not had the courage to snuff out. - Marian Wright Edelman
Home is the place where boys and girls first learn how to limit their wishes, abide by rules, and consider the rights and needs of others. - Sidonie Gruenberg

Personality Traits Personality traits are closely related to character traits. These are characteristics that a person is born with that influences how they look at life. They impact assertiveness and energy, emotional stability, imagination, and receptivity to instruction. Personality impacts how a person will respond to discipline and strong character training.

According to Myers Briggs, personality types impact how a child best receives character building instruction. The following outline gives some insight that could be helpful:

Extraverted Sensing (ESP) - Not serious, short attention span, needs quick correction.
Introverted Sensing (ISJ) - Needs explicit rules, insecure outside of normal routines.
Extraverted Intuition (ENP) - Forgets rules, messy, does not finish projects, tests boundaries
Introverted Intuition (INJ) - Does not listen well, stubborn, easily embarassed.
Extraverted Feelers (EFJ) - Hyper sensitive, exagerates, needs great attention and affection.
Introverted Feelers (IFP) - sensitive, prone to depression,difficulty with criticism, not assertive.
Extraverted Thinkers (ETJ) - Blunt, overly honest, temper, arrogant.
Introverted Thinkers (ITP) - Unaware of others feelings, does not like being told what to do, hard to get close to.

To take a free personality quiz and see a fuller description of personality types, click on this link: Personality types for children. You can take the personality test for your child and see how their personality gets catagorized. There are suggestions for dealing with each type.

The key is consistently teaching good character traits to your children. Understanding your child's personality type will also help deciding what teaching style works best.

Other resources related to strong character traits and development.....

Chicken Soup for the Soul If you knew that innocent mistakes could affect your children negatively for the rest of their lives... Would you change your behavior? To see this special resource Click Here!

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