"Sometimes it was worth all the disadvantages of marriage just to have that: one friend in an indifferent world" --Erica Jong
"The best friend will probably acquire the best wife, because a good marriage is founded on the talent for friendship" --Friedrich Nietzsche
"Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person"--Joseph Joubert
Marriage is between two very imperfect people. Mistakes or faults can unintentionally offend or cause harm. Human nature can cause couples to hurt each other willfully.
Instead of growing together in love and friendship, marriage problems arise and the relationship becomes rocky, painful, and disheartening. Friendship quotes can be good reminders to let go of the hurt.
There are many opportunities for marriages to be strained by human nature. Issues arise that seem frustrate, threaten, or even seem to be unforgivable. Everyone has their pressure points and everyone has been hurt. You may ask, "Why should I forgive?" or "How can I forgive such a thing?" The problem is that harmony, understanding, intimacy, and harmony are impacted. Here are quotes that show our fragile condition.
"Men become old, but they never become good" --Oscar Wilde
"The problem with people is that they're only human." --Bill Watterson
"I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am." --Joseph Baretti
"Man is harder than rock and more fragile than an egg. " --Yugoslav Proverb
"Man is rated the highest animal, at least among all animals who returned the questionnaire. " --Robert Brault
The offended spouse may pull away, hindered by pride, anger, bitterness, isolation, or the desire to "get back" at the other partner. Habits or idiosyncracies can be irritating. Everyday circumstances bring pressure. It could be unfulfilled expectations or dreams that disappoint.
Comments spoken in haste, or even with good intentions, sometimes offend. There can also be simple decisions made where both parties don't agree. The conflict may not be immediately perceived. The offense may be small, but can become a problem if not dealt with quickly. These interactions don't have to become unforgivable. Problems can lead to a hurting heart which may end up being hard to heal.
Irritations can slip in over time. No marriage is immune. Sensitivity is needed to notice potential bitterness and deal with it before it gets blown out of proportion. Marriage problems often start out small. One spouse may be going through a slow burn over an issue while the other is totally oblivious.
Some habits are are unchangable. This is a great opportunity, however, to show your spouse love by being willing to make adjustments. Other lifestyle issues come about because of laziness or apathy. Ask forgiveness for the discomfort or disappointment that may have set in. There problems should be quickly addressed.
Pressures caused by everyday circumstances can seed discord. It could be a problem that both have a stake in. Issues such as time pressures, work overload, conflicts with extended family, money problems, or just carrying the fair share of housework. These issues may lead to one or both partners exploding occassionally. Quick forgiveness is in order. Give each other "space" to cool down and then restore the relationship.
The following list contains areas that can impact the marriage relationship.
Common sources of bitterness and conflict
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Marriage issues stem from...
1.
not spending time together.
2.
not doing special things for spouse.
3.
filling schedule with personal hobbies or activities.
Not getting a desired result may cause either spouse to harbor disappointment or hurt. Irritation can be triggered by fear, uncomfortable situations, unrealized dreams, or just being blocked from reaching a goal. This can be displayed by anger or a cold shoulder. The attempt is to pass the pain or guilt on to the other partner. This is always wrong. It is important to go back and ask forgiveness and clear the air.
Deception can also be a problem. When one spouse deceives the other, there is a clear distrust. There is a feeling of being let down. Many situations start small, but the relationship always begins to suffer under the weight of disappointment and stress.
Carrying this out further, a spouse can display negative behavior that is selfserving or prideful. This can come out as anger, harsh criticism, unreasonable demands, or even apathy. The receiving spouse often preceives that there is a wrong done that violated their rights.
I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation. Whoopi Goldberg
The one who cannot restrain their anger will wish undone, what their temper and irritation prompted them to do. Horace
"It is to the credit of human nature, that, except where its selfishness is brought into play, it loves more readily than it hates. Hatred, by a gradual and quiet process, will even be transformed to love, unless the change be impeded by a continually new irritation of the original feeling of hostility." --Nathaniel Hawthorne
Negative responses lead to deeper bitterness and distrust. In reture, when the upset partner is outwardly disrespectful or displays a negative attitude, bitterness begins to take root. It becomes increasingly difficult to work through the issues and restore the relationship. Instead things get worse. The offended spouse may develop an attitude that the issue is unforgivable.
It may be manifest by returning evil for evil. If the offending spouse is spotted making a mistake, it is seen as an opportunity to get even. The satisfaction of getting revenge is fleeting. The damage left behind becomes more entrenched.
Friendship quotes can be a valuable tool in resetting attitudes and priorities.
Another negative approach is that one or both spouses shut down and become stony or unresponsive. If it is not dealt with, this can become a silent weapon used through time to punish the other partner. What started out as a negative circumstance is now directed toward the spouse personally.
Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all offend others around us. Because of the closeness of the marriage relationship, our human frailty is even more likely to come out. To promote friendship in marriage, a patient heart and a forgiving spirit are needed. The elements of friendship can then grow. Aggreement, cooperation, acceptance, companionship, unity, and oneness will become more evident. Feelings of incompatability with fondness and a sense of partnership.
As issues remain unresolved, disagreements and direct conflict escalate. Arguments become more intense. Anger and hurt feelings deepen. One or both marriage partners becomes increasingly bitter. Verbal abuse, criticism, contempt, and loss of intimacy can slip into the relationship.
"There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen." --Alexandre Dumas
"Anger is one letter short of danger." --Author Unknown
"Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge." --Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
"Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one." --Unknown
As time goes by, unresolved conflict can lead to explosive interactions. In the heat of the moment, reason is set aside and negative, unkind statements flow freely.
The charged emotion of the conflict may block seeing problems clearly. Neither partner may have been responsible for the original issues. However, damage to the relationship has taken place by not working through problems with warmth, empathy, and respect.
Feet stuck in the sand
Because of human nature, forgiveness is delayed, conditional, or does not come at all. Pride is often the barrier to restoring the relationship. Blame is put on the other person or the pain inflicted by the spouse is so great that "punishment" needs to stay in place.
The feeling is that "I am justified in my position". Since the other person is to blame, they should be the first to come forward and confess. Nothing less will do. If both sides feel this way, the relationship will continue to spiral down and bitterness will become more entrenched.
If either spouse has been mistreated or experienced pain through the marriage relationship, revenge instead of forgiveness is often the response. The person giving out the preceived punishment will continue to be hurt themselves through anger and emotional upheaval.
Another common barrier is tendency to feel that problems are too sensitive. We put off indefinitely trying to resolve it. It seems too painful. Sometimes it never gets resolved. This is a pity because it keeps the marriage from being as rich as it should be.
Broken heart quotes
Sometimes a broken heart blocks any chance of restoration. On the other hand, looking back on the good that once was can start the process of healing.
Time will make you forget me but time will make me love you more than before.
If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you.
If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will.
Forget who hurt you yesterday, But don't forget who loves you tenderly today. Forget the times he walked by, Forget the times he made you cry, Forget the times he spoke your name, Remember now your not the same. Forget the times he held your hand, Forget the sweet things if you can, Forget the times & Don't pretend, Remember now he's just your friend.
Broken friendship quotes
Losing a good friend or spouse is one of the most difficult experiences to endure. Lack of forgiveness is usually at the heart of the matter. Here for some broken friendship quotes that reflect this unhappy and unnecessary state:
We always thought we'd look back on our tears and laugh, but we never thought we'd look back on our laughter and cry.
It is strange how often a heart must be broken before the years can make it wise.
The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship.
Friendship is like a glass ornament, once it is broken it can rarely be put back together exactly the same way.
Problems can be overcome by humility, quick reconciliation, and a forgiving spirit. There is no advantage to not choosing forgiveness. Sometimes, however, we need reminders that marriage is an opportunity to build a supportive relationship. Words can convey compassion and mercy helping to restore intimacy and closeness. Inspirational friendship quotes can be the vehicle. Below is a sample of helpful and encouraging quotes.
Friendship quotes - Evaluating the loss
What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. -- Aristotle
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
--Edgar Watson Howe
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
--George Eliot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. -- Euripedes
The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right. * Mark Twain
In marriage, couples need to make a concerted effort to build deeper friendships with each other. Instead of discouragement and irritation, the relationship should be supportive and cooperative. There should be mutual respect and loyalty. Communication should be shared, open, and true. Demands and accusations should be replaced by honesty, vulnerability, and mutual respect. The goal is to make each others life better with no strings attached. This is much more satisfying than competing or testing each other.
Inspirational friendship poems can also be healing reminders when relationships get rocky and rough. Well written thoughts can often help show a more positive view of how the relation can be mended.
Here is an example of a short friendship poem after harsh words have been spoken:
The words you hurled hurt alot They make me want to flee. But I think about our beginnings and the positive that can be. It gives me strength to forgive To replace darkness that will free.
The problem could have started with you. Sometimes true humility will soften a friend. Funny friendship quotes such as the one below come to mind:
I have never met a man who has given me as much trouble as myself. D. L. Moody
Another approach that may begin the restoration process is to use humor. This can be done through funny friendship poems. Below is an example:
Roses are red Violets are blue. Please forgive me or I'll be in a stew.
Without forgiveness, the richness that marriage was intended to bring is lost. Barriers are setup that keep us from carrying out responsibilities or meeting needs. The problems spill over to other family members and friends like a sickness.
"Marriage becomes a series of surprises for most of us, and one of them is how frequently we need to forgive and be forgiven." --Dr Ed Wheat
Others are driven away by the negativity and the lack of harmony. There is also physical and emotional suffering. Disagreement and separation will continue to grow. It often spreads into other unrelated areas.
The relationship with the other spouse continues to diminish. If forgiveness is not exercised, the marriage can fall by the wayside.
Famous Forgiveness Quotes
I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note--torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. -- Henry Ward Beecher
We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies --Voltaire
Wrongs are often forgiven, but contempt never is. Our pride remembers it forever. --Lord Chesterfield
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it. --Mark Twain
Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?-- Abraham Lincoln
The pain that is being experienced or inflictedcan be reversed. We often have blinders on that keep us from seeing wrong behavior or attitudes.
Sometimes it takes time to see problems and conflict. In most cases, however, both spouses know when interactions are less than loving. Knowing how to ask for forgiveness starts with humility and a right heart. Take responsibility for your own actions. Do not address the offenses of your spouse.
Quick forgiveness is very important. If the wife asks for forgiveness, the husband needs to give it instantly or as soon as possible. The best solution is to forgive even before being asked. Fast action will prevent most issues from taking root. The marriage reenergized by forgiveness is well worth this effort.
When one spouse points out a problem with their partner, the response back can be defensive. Issues may have festered for awhile. It's usually not pleasant to be confronted. Be sensitive to how and when issues are brought up.
The response is sometimes surprise, anger, or impatience. Don't demand immediate answers. Give time to think through issues. Sometimes it takes quiet separation to get clarity. Later, when the light finally dawns, the conflict can be addressed. Don't leave problems dangling forever, however.
Sensitivity and humility together are very important. Even if we are not wrong, forgiveness needs to be offered for behavior that was less than honoring. Many times the hurt feelings come from how something is said and not the issue itself. Unresolved hurt can create a distance in the relationship. Many other areas can be impacted over time.
Deep seeded conflict will require unpeeling the layers of issues. The feelings between spouses may be very negative. Working together on any issue may be difficult. There needs to be a safe place chiseled out for resolving problems.
Keep a positive attitude. Look for things that will build hope and trust into the other partner. The forgiveness and healing may take significant time. The wait may be long. Supporting each other needs to be a decision, not a feeling. This will provide the foundation for which forgiveness can be built.
Sometimes issues require an objective third party to help resolve. The emotions and the hurt between a couple may make it difficult to deal with. Marriages are always worth saving. It is never too late to reach out for help from expert counseling. You could have started out with a loyal or true friend for a spouse. Don't let a break up occur. Don't let the issues reach the broken heart stage. What you want is a strong and lasting friendship with your spouse.
In summary , the following points are important in the area of forgiveness:
Ask forgiveness for the pain or damage that was caused to the other person.
Don't ask forgiveness for feelings that the other person is expressing.
Ask forgiveness because you want the relationship restored. Not whether the issue involved has actually been resolved.
Let the other party know that you want to be forgiven. Wait for a response. But don't demand it.
Make a commitment to yourself to keep the repaired relationship in right standing. Show the other person through time that you mean business.
If you forgive someone, also forget it. Don't hold the violation over their head.
Respond to spouse in positive ways - even if conflict resolution is not in sight.
Favorite friendship quotes/Best friend quotes
A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.
There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them.
In conclusion: Definition of a good friend
The bottom line is a good friend is willing to sacrifice their their rights for the sake of the relationship. They will yield to petty arguments. They will remain faithful under stressful circumstances. The loyal friend will be steadfast even when wronged. Mistakes will be excused, ignored, or at least overlooked.
They will show mercy when the other person does not deserve it.Reliable friendship will be quick to apologize. "I am sorry" will come easily to the lips.
This type of spouse is to be highly valued. However, it can not be demanded. Instead, the only thing we can control is to be that kind of spouse ourselves.
The relationship with our spouse can help us grow as individuals.
Friendship quotes
encourage reconciliation. Amends should be offered quickly and the marriage relationship restored.
Friendship quotes and other Marriage resources....
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