Marriage is between two very imperfect people. Mistakes or faults can unintentionally offend or cause harm. Human nature can cause couples to hurt each other willfully. The friendship quotes listed here are original and will provide encouragement in this area. The duplication of these quotes for the purpose of use on other websites is strictly prohibited.
"Blinded by selfishness, it is easy to forget how specialthe person we live with really is"
"The one who thinks dark thoughts about another is hurting themselves and doing great damage"
Instead of growing together in love and friendship, marriage problems arise and the relationship becomes rocky, painful, and unforgiving. Friendship quotes can be good reminders to let go of the hurt and stop the downward spiral.
The initial discord
There are many opportunities for marriages to be strained by human nature. Issues arise that seem to frustrate, threaten, or even seem to be unforgivable. Everyone has their pressure points and everyone has been hurt. You may ask, "Why should I forgive?" or "How can I forgive such a thing?" The problem is that harmony, understanding, intimacy, and harmony are at stake. Here are quotes that show our fragile condition.
"The atmosphere within a home can be like the weather. One minute bright and shiny, the next, cold and stormy"
"Cold words can bring about a small spark which becomes a blazing fire"
"Separation weakens any relationship. Those in the same house may be miles apart"
The offended spouse may pull away, hindered by pride, anger, bitterness, isolation, or the desire to "get back" at the other partner. Habits or idiosyncracies can be irritating. Everyday circumstances bring pressure. It could be unfulfilled expectations or dreams that disappoint.
Comments spoken in haste, or even with good intentions, sometimes offend. There can also be simple decisions made where both parties don't agree. The conflict may not be immediately perceived. The offense may be small, but can become a problem if not dealt with quickly. These interactions don't have to become unforgivable. Problems can lead to a hurting heart which may end up being hard to heal.
Irritations can slip in over time. No marriage is immune. Sensitivity is needed to notice potential bitterness and deal with it before it gets blown out of proportion. Marriage problems often start out small. One spouse may be going through a slow burn over an issue while the other is totally oblivious.
Some habits are are unchangable. This is a great opportunity, however, to show your spouse love by being willing to make adjustments. Other lifestyle issues come about because of laziness or apathy. Ask forgiveness for the discomfort or disappointment that may have set in. There problems should be quickly addressed.
Pressures caused by everyday circumstances can seed discord. It could be a problem that both have a stake in. Issues such as time pressures, work overload, conflicts with extended family, money problems, or just carrying the fair share of housework. These issues may lead to one or both partners exploding occassionally. Quick forgiveness is in order. Give each other "space" to cool down and then restore the relationship.
The following list contains areas that can impact the marriage relationship.
Common sources of bitterness and conflict
Marriage issues stem from...
not spending time together.
not doing special things for spouse.
filling schedule with personal hobbies or activities.
not addressing family problems.
not sharing feelings.
not accepting flaws or mistakes.
lack of affection.
having different core values.
pressures of life.
not caring how my behavior impacts spouse.
Downward spiral of bitterness
Not getting a desired result may cause either spouse to harbor disappointment or hurt. Irritation can be triggered by fear, uncomfortable situations, unrealized dreams, or just being blocked from reaching a goal. This can be displayed by anger or a cold shoulder. The attempt is to pass the pain or guilt on to the other partner. This is always wrong. It is important to go back and ask forgiveness and clear the air.
"It is nearly impossible to hide displeasure from your spouse. The slighted movement will be noticed."
"Small children cry when they are offended. Adults bite the lip and pretend that everything is alright."
"Perspective in marriage rides on a fine line. The triumph of one person may be the disappointment of another. "
Deception can also be a problem. When one spouse deceives the other, there is a clear distrust. There is a feeling of being let down. Many situations start small, but the relationship always begins to suffer under the weight of disappointment and stress.
Carrying this out further, a spouse can display negative behavior that is selfserving or prideful. This can come out as anger, harsh criticism, unreasonable demands, or even apathy. The receiving spouse often preceives that there is a wrong done that violated their rights.
Negative responses lead to deeper bitterness and distrust. In reture, when the upset partner is outwardly disrespectful or displays a negative attitude, bitterness begins to take root. It becomes increasingly difficult to work through the issues and restore the relationship. Instead things get worse. The offended spouse may develop an attitude that the issue is unforgivable.
It may be manifest by returning evil for evil. If the offending spouse is spotted making a mistake, it is seen as an opportunity to get even. The satisfaction of getting revenge is fleeting. The damage left behind becomes more entrenched.
Another negative approach is that one or both spouses shut down and become stony or unresponsive. If it is not dealt with, this can become a silent weapon used through time to punish the other partner. What started out as a negative circumstance is now directed toward the spouse personally.
Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all offend others around us. Because of the closeness of the marriage relationship, our human frailty is even more likely to come out. To promote friendship in marriage, a patient heart and a forgiving spirit are needed. The elements of friendship can then grow. Aggreement, cooperation, acceptance, companionship, unity, and oneness will become more evident. Feelings of incompatability with fondness and a sense of partnership.
The resentment deepens
As issues remain unresolved, disagreements and direct conflict escalate. Arguments become more intense. Anger and hurt feelings deepen. One or both marriage partners becomes increasingly bitter. Verbal abuse, criticism, contempt, and loss of intimacy can slip into the relationship.
"Ignoring a wrong is like leaving a wound unattended. The infection grows under the skin. It is out of sight, but becomes more painful."
"Bitterness is like a bad habit. You have every right to indulge, but danger is right around the corner."
"When there appears to be no hope, blame is often fixed on others. If only they...."As time goes by, unresolved conflict can lead to explosive interactions. In the heat of the moment, reason is set aside and negative, unkind statements flow freely.
The charged emotion of the conflict may block seeing problems clearly. Neither partner may have been responsible for the original issues. However, damage to the relationship has taken place by not working through problems with warmth, empathy, and respect.
Feet stuck in the sand
"If a driver wrongly goes through a red light in front of me, I will make allowances and yield. The same should be true in relationships."
"Thinking too highly of ones self leads to having a lower opinion of your spouse."
"Transfering your pain to your partner will increase your pain."
Because of human nature, forgiveness is delayed, conditional, or does not come at all. Pride is often the barrier to restoring the relationship. Blame is put on the other person or the pain inflicted by the spouse is so great that "punishment" needs to stay in place.
The feeling is that "I am justified in my position". Since the other person is to blame, they should be the first to come forward and confess. Nothing less will do. If both sides feel this way, the relationship will continue to spiral down and bitterness will become more entrenched.
If either spouse has been mistreated or experienced pain through the marriage relationship, revenge instead of forgiveness is often the response. The person giving out the preceived punishment will continue to be hurt themselves through anger and emotional upheaval.
Another common barrier is tendency to feel that problems are too sensitive. We put off indefinitely trying to resolve it. It seems too painful. Sometimes it never gets resolved. This is a pity because it keeps the marriage from being as rich as it should be.
Broken heart quotes
Sometimes a broken heart blocks any chance of restoration. On the other hand, looking back on the good that once was can start the process of healing.
"Fleeing temporary discomfort robs a person of blessing and opportunity."
"A broken heart is like the death of a loved one. Don't lose the opportunity to speak while there is still time."
Broken friendship quotes
Breaking away from a good friend or your spouse is one of the most difficult experiences to endure. Lack of forgiveness is usually at the heart of the matter. Here for some broken friendship quotes that reflect this unhappy and unnecessary state:
"An insensitive person is likely to spend a lot of time alone."
"Pain triggers the desire to flee everything related to a traumatic experience."
"A stubborn heart usually does not get what it wants. A sensitive spirit will look for ways to meet needs. "
Recognizing the need for change
Problems can be overcome by humility, quick reconciliation, and a forgiving spirit. There is no advantage to not choosing forgiveness. Sometimes, however, we need reminders that marriage is an opportunity to build a supportive relationship. Words can convey compassion and mercy helping to restore intimacy and closeness. Inspirational friendship quotes can be the vehicle.
"Everyone makes mistakes. Not everyone makes the effort to correct them. "
"I am responsible for making the needed changes in me - even if the other person does not change. "
"Warmth and empathy are the runway to meaningful change in a relationship."
In marriage, couples need to make a concerted effort to build deeper friendships with each other. Instead of discouragement and irritation, the relationship should be supportive and cooperative. There should be mutual respect and loyalty. Communication should be shared, open, and true. Demands and accusations should be replaced by honesty, vulnerability, and mutual respect. The goal is to make each others life better with no strings attached. This is much more satisfying than competing or testing each other.
Choosing to forgive
Without forgiveness, the richness that marriage was intended to bring is lost. Barriers are setup that keep us from carrying out responsibilities or meeting needs. The problems spill over to other family members and friends like a sickness.
"Lack of forgiveness changes people physically, mentally, and emotionally. Never for the better."
"Negativity either drives people away or drives them crazy."
"Progress resumes when relationships are righted."
Others are driven away by the negativity and the lack of harmony. There is also physical and emotional suffering. Disagreement and separation will continue to grow. It often spreads into other unrelated areas. The relationship with the other spouse continues to diminish. If forgiveness is not exercised, the marriage can fall by the wayside.
The healing process
The pain that is being experienced or inflictedcan be reversed. We often have blinders on that keep us from seeing wrong behavior or attitudes.
Sometimes it takes time to see problems and conflict. In most cases, however, both spouses know when interactions are less than loving. Knowing how to ask for forgiveness starts with humility and a right heart. Take responsibility for your own actions. Do not address the offenses of your spouse.
Quick forgiveness is very important. If the wife asks for forgiveness, the husband needs to give it instantly or as soon as possible. The best solution is to forgive even before being asked. Fast action will prevent most issues from taking root. The marriage reenergized by forgiveness is well worth this effort.
When one spouse points out a problem with their partner, the response back can be defensive. Issues may have festered for awhile. It's usually not pleasant to be confronted. Be sensitive to how and when issues are brought up.
The response is sometimes surprise, anger, or impatience. Don't demand immediate answers. Give time to think through issues. Sometimes it takes quiet separation to get clarity. Later, when the light finally dawns, the conflict can be addressed. Don't leave problems dangling forever, however.
Sensitivity and humility together are very important. Even if we are not wrong, forgiveness needs to be offered for behavior that was less than honoring. Many times the hurt feelings come from how something is said and not the issue itself. Unresolved hurt can create a distance in the relationship. Many other areas can be impacted over time.
Deep seeded conflict will require unpeeling the layers of issues. The feelings between spouses may be very negative. Working together on any issue may be difficult. There needs to be a safe place chiseled out for resolving problems.
Keep a positive attitude. Look for things that will build hope and trust into the other partner. The forgiveness and healing may take significant time. The wait may be long. Supporting each other needs to be a decision, not a feeling. This will provide the foundation for which forgiveness can be built.
Sometimes issues require an objective third party to help resolve. The emotions and the hurt between a couple may make it difficult to deal with. Marriages are always worth saving. It is never too late to reach out for help from expert counseling. You could have started out with a loyal or true friend for a spouse. Don't let a break up occur. Don't let the issues reach the broken heart stage. What you want is a strong and lasting friendship with your spouse.
In summary , the following points are important in the area of forgiveness:
Ask forgiveness for the pain or damage that was caused to the other person.
Don't ask forgiveness for feelings that the other person is expressing.
Ask forgiveness because you want the relationship restored. Not whether the issue involved has actually been resolved.
Let the other party know that you want to be forgiven. Wait for a response. But don't demand it.
Make a commitment to yourself to keep the repaired relationship in right standing. Show the other person through time that you mean business.
If you forgive someone, also forget it. Don't hold the violation over their head.
Respond to spouse in positive ways - even if conflict resolution is not in sight.
Favorite friendship quotes/Best friend quotes
In conclusion: Definition of a good friend
The bottom line is a good friend is willing to sacrifice their their rights for the sake of the relationship. They will yield to petty arguments. They will remain faithful under stressful circumstances. The loyal friend will be steadfast even when wronged. Mistakes will be excused, ignored, or at least overlooked.
They will show mercy when the other person does not deserve it.Reliable friendship will be quick to apologize. "I am sorry" will come easily to the lips.
This type of spouse is to be highly valued. However, it can not be demanded. Instead, the only thing we can control is to be that kind of spouse ourselves.
The relationship with our spouse can help us grow as individuals.
encourage reconciliation. Amends should be offered quickly and the marriage relationship restored.
Friendship quotes and other Marriage resources....
TheFriendshipKnot The Secret. The Law of Attraction. Oprah gave us awareness of the book and the DVD written by Rhonda Byrne. Come and discuss your thoughts with us on the Friendship Knot. A home with a free interactive message board and live 24/7 chat for a women's friendship community.
Loving Spirit - Relationship/Marriage Rescue, www.1lovespirit.com Provides tips, articles, exercises and lessons to promote healthy relationships and marriages for WOMEN. Provides resources for women saving marriage alone.
Marriage Problem - The amazing secrets of fixing your marriage those lawyers don't want you to read. Leading Expert Claims Over 90% Success Rate Saving Marriages. Discover The Step-By-Step Secrets On What To Say And Do To Stop Any Marriage Problem.