Marriages encounter pressure and human failure everyday. The temptation is to either fight or flee. The weight of issues may pull marriage down. Tension, anxiety, and conflict grow. Unconditional love is tested daily. Domestic trama is a challenge. On top of this, painful failures of the past create barriers and uncertainty.
Having the desire to put your spouse first and the willingness to sacrifice is the key to commitment in marriage. It is the key to "passing" the love tests that all couples face.
Encouragement is needed to see couples through times of crisis. One simple technique is the keep in mind what you want your marriage to express or stand for. Encouaging quotes about commitment often stay in the fore-front of memory and can be a reminder both marriage partners to stay strong in their relationship. Inspiring commitment quotes can enhance this dedication to the original marriage vows. More specifically, marriage quotes can touch on issues that can both instruct and encourage in the midst of problems. Effective communication will help weather the relationship tests that will inevitably come. The following table gives helpful examples:
Inspiring commitment Quotes
In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer.......
H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver
Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.......
Harlan Miller
A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love......
Pearl S. Buck
Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side......
Zig Ziglar
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.......
Friedrich Nietzsche
Commitment overcomes the inevitable pressure and make room for acceptance, change, and growth.
The glowing promises made on the wedding day are important and express the commitment to marriage. These vows are like insurance policies promising protection, love, and care through good and bad circumstances.
Before the wedding, the relationship has probably faced few negative issues. Dating and engagement were exciting and positive. Commitment to marriage was not an issue. How we respond later when things are not going well makes trying love tests of everyday life a barometer for every couple. Stress tests love and commitment.
Review initial marriage Vows
Reminder what you willingly promised your spouse. Most traditional marriage vows are worded as follows:
"Will you take this (man/woman)...to have and to hold...to love, comfort, honor, cherish, for richer or poorer, and keep in sickness and health,... for as long as you both shall live".
Both marriage partners say, "I do".
At this moment, each spouse claims dedication to keeping these vows. Each of the words is filled with meaning. The table below shows a glimpse of what might be required. This will often be more difficult than expected. You can look at this as a love quiz to see how you line up.
Common marriage vows
Promises...
Implications...
take this man/woman
Agreeing that this is the one and only person. A complete commitment to the needs of this person.
to have and to hold
Live together and in harmony with this person. We belong to each other. Expected to show affection consistently.
to Love
Sacrifice self to meet the needs of the other. Make it a priority to serve your spouse.
to Comfort
Encourage through the challenges, console during loss, provide a listening ear.
to Honor
Find opportunities to praise, show respect, speak well of to others.
to Cherish
Set aside own priorities to be available to spouse. Guard as precious, as a main priority, protect from danger.
for Richer or Poorer
Value spouse as a person and not what they can give me. Be content with what we have.
in Sickness and Health
Fully loving regardless of physical condition. Take care of spouse at my own expense and time.
until death do us part
Aggreeing to never leave this person. There is no valid reason to separate except death.
The vows above are easy to repeat at the marriage cerimony. To carry them out through time, however, may be another matter. Commitment to marriage is needed because of human inperfections. Staying dedicated to your spouse during hard times is the essence of commitment in marriage. It is impossible to be perfect. The love tests you face my be severe. Several of these tests are dealt with below:
Adversity - Common source of relationship tests
Things start out well in most marriages. Initially, the demands and pressures are manageable. There is an optimism that things are going in the right direction. Couples have goals and expectations that are still out in front of them. Early in the marriage it is easy to be patient. Love and affection seem easy. The marks of true love, however, are seen through time. Adversity offers many love tests for couples.
It is not take long, however, before problems and conflicts arise. For many the issues center around finances. There is a growing realization that funds are tight. This can cause disagreement about how to spend money. Some dreams have to be put on the back burner. Disappointment follows.
Other issues might be children, parenting, romance, career, or social life. When there are problems in any of these areas, they become love tests that show our commitment to each other.
Adversity can also come through the environment and culture we live in. Frequently both spouses start out working. There can develop a separation of priorities and attention to the marriage. If commitment is low, the temptation might be to leave the marriage for a better arrangement. An unfaithful spouse is a tragedy that could be averted.
Pain and Pressure
When things don't go well, the natural response is to fix the problem. The more discomfort or pain that is caused, the more urgent it becomes to solve problems and conflicts. Impatience, bitterness, and pride often get in the way of resolving conflict.
The feeling is that the pressure being experienced should not be put up with. This stress tests the marriage bond. Responsibility to stay committed to the wife/husband is set aside. The effort required is considered too heavy. The commitment to marriage seems to become optional.
A spouse may say, "This relationship is not worth the pain and effort. If this relationship does not work out, I can take care of myself. Besides, there are other choices out there if this person does not work out".
With a selfcentered spouse, the tendency is to pull away.
When things do go badly or there is some misfortune, the pain caused is not put on either spouse. The Committed husband or wife continues to hold a positive view toward the other partner. The pressure does not keep the communication from being kind, reassuring, and encouraging.
Human weaknesses
As time goes by, each partner becomes more aware of the nature and weaknesses of the other spouse. Mistakes and failures occur from the beginning. Commitment is knowing about these issues and then still being completely dedicated to love and care for the other person. Love tests the extent of commitment. Trials test commitment.
Communication is another key area. Before marriage, both spouses were on their best behavior and were very accommodating.
Now responses may be sharper and less patient. Things that weren't issues before, suddenly become more critical. It is easy to be hurt and angry when spoken to in rude or indifferent tones. Couples may end up shutting each other out. True love tests the ability to be humble.
The commitment to the marriage should always put the needs and concerns of the other spouse first. Self-sacrifice is always needed to give priority to your mate.
In summary, building a strong relationship is difficult. There will be many tests that will be faced. Try love tests from the list in other resources below to check your readiness.
Love tests
our commitment through time. Turning it around, commitment is a true love test.
An everyday key:
One thing that is very important is to tell your spouse that you love them. Not just think it, but say it. Your spouse wants to hear it and to hear it often. To express your love reassures your partner. Written words can also be an encouragement. Short love poems are easy to write and can convey deep meaning. Simple, sweet love quotes stay with your spouse and act as an encouragement in whatever is facing them. Here is an example of such a poem:
As time goes by I thank my God above
For giving me someone that I cherish and love.
