Love tests: Showing a commitment to marriage

Definition of Commitment

What is commitment and loyalty. The definition of commitment is keeping a promise or taking on an obligation to fulfill a duty. It requires a single minded devotion to carry out that responsibility taken on. Focus and passion are needed to make it priority over lesser activities. Sound easy?

Keeping commitments means keeping your word. It is the quality of wholeheartedly and sincerely carrying out duties and responsibilities in the midst of adversity or temptation. It is measured and affirmed through time by the loyalty and trust that is built. In a marriage relationship, it is tested by devotion and love during stressful times such as sickness, misunderstanding, or misfortune. Commitment to a loved one is not dependent on personality. It is voluntary choice.

The following traits show the essence of commitment:

• Compassion - having the best interests of your partner at heart.
• Determination - not allowing self or circumstances to override duty to spouse.
• Integrity - keeping communication open and motives pure.
• Patience - guarding against having negative circumstances undermine my care for wife or husband.

Love tests based on adversity faced

Domestic trauma is a challenge. On top of this, painful failures of the past create barriers, uncertainty, and fear. The love tests you face my be severe. The lack of commitment that follows is unfortunately often the norm. It is impossible to be perfect, but it is the effort and the heart that matter.

Things start out well enough in most marriages. Initially, the demands and pressures are manageable. There is an optimism that things are going in the right direction. Couples have goals and expectations that are still out in front of them. Early in the marriage it is easy to be patient. Love and affection seem easy. The marks of true love, however, are seen through time. Adversity offers many love tests for married couples.

It does not take long, however, before problems and conflicts arise. For many the issues center around finances. There is a growing realization that funds are tight. This can cause disagreement about how to spend money. Some dreams have to be put on hold. Disappointment follows.

Other issues might be children, parenting, romance, career, or social life. When there are problems in any of these areas, they become love tests that show our commitment to each other.

Adversity can also come through the environment and the culture we live in. Frequently both spouses start out working. There can develop an imbalance between priorities and attention to the marriage. If commitment is low, the temptation might be to leave the marriage for a better arrangement. An unfaithful spouse is a tragedy that could be averted. How sincere were the marriage vows?

Love tests related to pain and pressure

When under stress, the natural response is to fix the problem quickly. The more discomfort or pain that is caused, the more urgent it becomes to solve problems and conflicts. Impatience, bitterness, and pride often get in the way of resolving these conflicts.

The feeling is that the pressure being experienced should not be put up with. Suffering is a definite love test. This stress very much tests the marriage relationship. Responsibility to stay committed to the wife or husband is set aside. The effort required is considered too heavy. The temptation is to make commitment to marriage optional.

Is commitment optional based on happiness only?
As long as things are going well, husbands and wives can often remain happy and content. Is it love. Once painful circumstances come into the marriage, there may be the feeling that this was not part of the bargain. To be supportive toward a partner total commitment.Yet, a spouse may say, "This relationship is not worth the pain and effort. If this relationship does not work out, I can take care of myself. Besides, there are other choices out there if this person does not work out". With a selfcentered spouse, the tendency is to pull away.

Before the wedding, the relationship has probably faced few negative issues. Dating and engagement were exciting and positive. Commitment to marriage was not an issue. How we respond later when things are not going well makes trying love tests of everyday life a barometer for every couple. Stress tests love and commitment.

Passing the love tests: Review initial marriage Vows

Reminder what you willingly promised your spouse. Most traditional marriage vows are worded as follows:

"Will you take this (man/woman)...to have and to hold...to love, comfort, honor, cherish, for richer or poorer, and keep in sickness and health,... for as long as you both shall live".

Both marriage partners say, "I do".

At this moment, each spouse claims dedication to keeping these vows. Each of the words is filled with meaning. The table below shows a glimpse of what might be required. This will often be more difficult than expected. You can look at this as a love quiz to see how you line up.

On the positive side
When things do go badly or there is some misfortune, the pain caused, the wise couple does not put blame on the other spouse. The Committed husband or wife continues to hold a positive view toward their partner. This is a great test of love. The pressure does not keep the communication from being kind, reassuring, and encouraging.

As time goes by, each partner becomes more aware of the nature and weaknesses of the other spouse. Faults, mistakes, and failures will inevitably occur from the beginning. Commitment is knowing about these issues and then still being completely dedicated to love and care for the other person. Love tests the extent of commitment. Trials test commitment.

Communication is another key area. Before marriage, both spouses were on their best behavior and were very accommodating.Now responses may be sharper and less patient. Things that weren't issues before, suddenly become more critical. It is easy to be hurt and angry when spoken to in rude or indifferent tones. Couples may end up shutting each other out. Showing support for a spouse who has become impatient under pressure requires determination and self-control. True love tests the ability to be humble.

In summary, building a strong relationship is difficult. Whether you are compatible or not should not be an issue. Once married, commitment is more important than compatibility. There will be many tests of love that will be faced. The best matches are those who adapt and work through the issues. Try love tests from the list in other resources below to check your readiness. Love tests our commitment through time. Turning it around, commitment is the true love test that helps marriage endure. Being loyal to your marriage vows will genuinely mark your relationship as an example for others.

Other resources about love tests and quizzes...



Christian Articles - Christian Poetry-Access thousands of Family Safe articles in categories of your choice.

Anxiety Matters - This site explores many types of anxiety and impact on various relationships.

Love Quiz - Love Quiz Calculator will help match you with your soul mate in seconds!

The Wedding Guide for New Zealand Brides.

Leaving love tests commitment | Returning to Quotes about Family

Home | Terms&Conditions | About Us | Site Map | Contact Us | Privacy Policy