Respect quotes: Building harmony in the home

Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.

- Jim Rohn

The Family structure is fragile.

Families are made up of individuals that are not always easy to be around. Family members can be self-centered and sometimes contentious. Greed, selfishness, pride, jealousy, and personal agendas often cause conflict. Adverse environmental issues contribute even further to put pressure on the family. People are hurt and often have a tough time with forgiveness. Family members need to remember to show respect. Respect quotes can help.

Examples of negative home conditions and possible causes are listed below:

Secure Environment - Conflict between children

Disagreement and conflict happen within every family. If issues are not resolved, the inevitable friction that occurs will increase stress and tension and drive people apart. Togetherness and harmony are then not likely to deepen. When rights have been violated or someone has been mistreated, an atmosphere of distrust is built up. Family members will not feel secure around each other. Again, the need for reminders - respect quotes.

This is especially true with children. Disputes erupt between siblings and between children and their parents. They openly display negative behavior and usually don't hold back feelings. The issue could be selfishness or just fighting for equal rights or attention. There may also be disagreement between parents on how to deal with these issues. This can interrupt peace in the family and cause stress among all family members.

The response to this type of behavior should be strong and consistent. Because of busy circumstances, lack of convenience, or just apathy, the negative attitudes and behavior often continue. Addressing conflict is necessary to build family unity as well as for building character into children. The following are steps help address the issues:

• Make sure that each child understands the goal – to build unity, not division.
• Parents should plan together guidelines for treatment, discipline, and rewards. Setup some simple family rules that are easy to remember and understand.
• Don't let problems go unaddressed. Handle quickly so that upcoming family times are not hindered.
• Address issues privately with the children involved in the problem. The whole family does not have to sit in and confuse the issue.
• Take the time to follow-up and stay with it until it is understood and resolved.
• Restore children who have been disciplined so that negative attitudes won’t drag down the family.
• Be sure to show love and affection without favoritism. Demonstrate to the children that when issues are resolved, it is now time to move on.

Secure Environment - A place to rest

Most everyone faces challenges outside the home. It might be workload or conflict at work. It could be peer pressure at school or difficult neighbors across the street. What ever the issue, home should be a place to recover, to be rejuvenated, and encouraged. Having other family members to talk to or even having a place to be alone promotes unity and the desire to be together.

If there is no outlet at home for problems and concerns, the issues may be internalized or dealt with away from home. Anger and frustration build Stress and fatigue are natural consequences. Unresolved issues can also spill over into other areas, causing additional irritability and conflict. Instead of building stronger relationships at home, there is a growing mistrust and separation.

Home should be a place to have time alone. This may be for rest, to think, to sort out issues, or just to listen to your heart. Time alone can prepare individuals for more effective time together as a family. Having space and possession that are respected as belonging to you, builds a sense of security and worth.

• Be aware of what is important to other family members.
• Meet together often to share concerns about life issues or concerns.
• Create a non-condemning environment. Help others find their own solutions.
• Protect right to time alone.
• Create an atmosphere conducive to rest, especially during times of stress.
• Ensure that personal property is respected. Establish clear ownership.

Activities and Distractions

Time together can be diminished by many good activities taking place around the home. Television, video games, computers, and other electronic gadgets are all very attractive and serve valid purposes. It is very easy, however, to let these things dominate our time and our thinking.

Hobbies and sports are also good. But they can become like full time occupations involving preparation, transportation, practice, and participation. Family members have different talents, abilities, and tastes. This tends to pull family members in separate directions. This can also lead to time crunch, confusion, and conflict. Time together as a family can be crowded out.

Another distraction is divided attention. When families do finally have time together, interruptions may sap the effectiveness and enjoyment of the event. The phone seems to ring at the wrong time, calling out like a magnet. Friends come to the door, enticing the children away. Housework and other responsibilities are in the background, demanding attention now.

• Schedule family activities frequently and on a periodic basis.
• Setup and communicate times well in advance.
• Establish rules and time limits for electric “screen” time.
• Develop hobbies or other activities that the whole family can enjoy together.
• Be sensitive to individual needs. Support individual activities, but don’t force excessive participation of others in that activity.
• Block out undivided attention. Let calls go to voice mail.
• Plan significant activities away from home.

Home Atmosphere

Sometimes playing a game together is loud and can mess up the house alittle. This is an important part of bonding and growing closer together. These opportunities are memorable and encourage more family times going forward. This is especially true for young children who like action more than words.

At other times, communication and interaction are enhanced when the noise level and confusion are reduced. It is easier to think clearly and focus when the environment is quiet and reflective. When there are difficult issues to deal with, it is important to take time to manage activities going on around the house. The noisy activities can be stopped or moved to another area. Undivided attention is a major encouragement and the results will be much more satisfying.

The cleanliness of the environment can also be an issue. Some people have a high tolerance for this and still have a very happy home. Others are very distracted and won’t rest until the confusion and mess are taken care of. The weight of responsibility keeps them from enjoying family times. Still others can’t relax in a cluttered and disorganized environment.

There needs to be agreement among family members on what kind of environment is comfortable and agreeable. Special family activities to clean up periodically may be necessary. These can also be fun and bonding.

Interpersonal Relationships

Relationships within families can be challenging and fragile. Things may seem peaceful and under control at a given moment. It does not take long, however, for the atmosphere to change. The potential for conflict is all around. It might be unresolved relationship issues. It could be pressure or stress.

Tempers flare. Hostility builds up. This can break down harmony and replace it with negativity, distrust, and confusion. Hidden agenda’s, pride, selfishness, and personality can also play a role in this downward spiral. Any family building activities become ineffective during this time. The recovery time to reinforce family unity could become a long slow process.

Problems can often be hidden or deceptive. It can start with misunderstanding. A common example between a husband and wife might play out like this. A husband comes home from work and notices that his wife is a little down. She could have been upset or just overwhelmed by the homework of the children and household chores. He asks if he can help her, hoping that this would cheer her up. She replies, "Of course" in a sharp tone.

The husband retreats, thinking that the response is uncalled for. He gets upset inside, but does not want to show that he is hurt. All the way through dinner everyone is quiet and reserved. Even the children can see that something is not right. They sit through dinner uncomfortable with the gloomy surroundings. This simple example demonstrates another missed opportunity to build unity.

There are many proactive ways to preserve and promote harmony. The following actions are helpful in this area:

• Anticipate in advance what a loved one might be encountering. Plan out a suitable response ahead of time.
• For unresolved issues, refrain from jumping to conclusions or pushing your own agenda. Wait patiently to hear out the others involved. Walk with them through the issues.
• Be willing to stay with issues or conflict until it is resolved fairly. Don’t push the problems out of sight just to keep peace.
• Don’t try to match the emotion of the upset party. Anger often blocks getting to the answers and can create further conflict.
• Listen with full attention to what is being said. Repeat back for clarification.
• Seek forgiveness quickly when your behavior is less than honorable.
• Affirm other family members for who they are. Use clear, honest language.

Being able to overlook issues when others offend and to respond back in love is not always easy. Misunderstandings inevitably occur. We need to humbly restore family relationships and not set up barriers. Through gentleness and care, family unity will be reinforced.

Inability or Ignorance

Families are often geared toward individual goals and success. This can be all consuming, leaving no time for family time and bonding activities. There is usually not a conscious effort to suppress family time. It just gets pushed off by other activities and responsibilities.

This deficiency may easily go unnoticed. When things are going well, having strong family ties is not an issue. Out of ignorance, family building activities are pushed off. The need seems remote. As long as family members are successfully accomplishing their goals, the home atmosphere may still be good.

When parents become conscious of the need to bring family more together, the process is not always easy. If family members are unaccustomed to being together, the time can be forced and stressful. If the experience is negative, participation and cooperation may be more difficult next time.

This process may also be stretching for parents. They may have come from families that did not have good role models for guiding and building families. Inexperience or lack of ability will often undermine attempts to bring the family together. Taking leadership can also be difficult for parents.

It is never too late to start. Your family is well worth it. The following action items will help you get started:

• Don’t be frozen by past inactivity or failure. Start (again) now!
• Promote benefits of family time and emphasize importance.
• Begin planning well in advance and schedule activities regularly.
• Stay consistent. Hold the event or activity even if one or more family members are not available.
• Solicit activity ideas from all family members and from other sources.
• Assign other family members to take leadership roles periodically.
• Don’t let failure or temporary setbacks stop you from persistently continuing on.

Staying focused on building traditions will promote unity. Family members will feel well connected and have a solid sense of being taken care of. Aligning activities to build character and grow encouraging relationships, will go along way in shaping a strong family. Here are some more quotes on respect:

There are many things that go into enabling a good home environment. A key to enhance family is through the use of respect quotes.

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