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Retirement Humor - makes the event fun
Retirement humor to spice up the occasion...
Retirement humor can spice up a speech and relieve the tension of speaking in front of a large audience. If you, the retiree, can make them laugh and relax, it will help you to relax as well. People also want to laugh and have fun. If the retirement party is fun, then it is a success.
Saying goodbye to a long time associate could be sad or ackward. The retirement party should be a celebration. A good retirement joke can direct attention to the funny side of life. You can poke fun of work life and the funny things that happened to you. Or you can look ahead to what retirement will look like.
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Comparing the old worklife to the new retirement lifestyle , can be very humorous. It is almost like teasing or roasting the retiree without getting personal. Everyone can see the point and still get a good laugh. Here are examples:
What does a government retiree miss most about not having a job?
Not being able to call in sick two or three times a month.
When is the best time to start thinking about your retirement?
Before your boss does!
How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it will take him two or three days to complete the job.
Why are retired people who are misers with their money so special?
They make wonderful ancestors.
What do you call a worker who is of retirement age, hates his job,
and refuses to retire?
Flat broke!
What is the typical retiree's greatest frustration?
Not being able to complete all the things he had planned to do that don't need to get done in the first place.
What is the typical government retiree's idea of intense physical
exercise?
A brisk sit!
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An elderly, retired widow and widower had been dating for a couple of years. One day, the man finally asked her if she would marry him. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he woke up, he couldn't remember what her answer was! After an hour of unsuccessfully trying to recollect the previous day's happenings, he finally got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he couldn't remember her answer to his marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was!"
retirement humor
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