Children face many pressures growing up. How they respond to challenges and difficult relationships will depend on character and their confidence to continue. Parents need to be aware of what their children are facing. Low self esteem, fear of failure, or embarassing situations could keep them from facing life issues and taking on opportunities. Children need daily words of encouragement from parents to help overcome hurdles and handle trials.
Parents observe and are usually eager to reach out and help.
This is not always easy. It takes patience and wisdom. Often parents filter situations through their own experiences and abilities and expect it to be right for their child.
They then bring solutions that they feel should fix the problem and strongly urge the child to go forward. The child is expected to eagerly apply the advice and thereby overcome the problem. This may be too overwhelming or confusing and lead to further fears and discouragement. Parents need to take the time to understand before taking action.
Success is another area where parenting and words of encouragement are often applied. Care needs to be taken to ensure that motives are good. Parents can drive their children’s success for the purpose of building their own self esteem.
A parent may not have had success with a particular activity as they were growing up. By getting their child to perform, they feel better about themselves. Instead of real encouragement, children are spurred on to success for the benefit of the parent. The key is understanding your child and doing what is best for them.
Knowing how your child normally responds to pressure and problems will help you know if they are really struggling and need help. Every child has a unique personality and will approach challenges in their own special way. Using the right motivation techniques takes patience and practice.
The Parenting Challenge
Parents want the best for their children. The tendency is to maximize education, sports, and other social activities to give them the best chance to succeed. As mentioned before, it is sometimes difficult to tell if the motivation is to feed a proud parent or to help the child prepare for life.
No matter what involvement level, there will be struggles and failure. Kids will feel the pain and discouragement. They often don't have the same desires or interest that their parents have and they may want to quit as soon as possible. The parents have goals and a vision for the future. They sometimes push too hard.
Words of encouragement are not heard.
To complicate things further, children often bottle their thoughts inside making it sometimes tough to know what they are really thinking. It takes wisdom to know how to help children deal with their challenges. When do we back off? How can we encourage them?
Pointing them to examples of others who have faced hurdles and their advice can inspire and encourage a child to continue on. Here are some words of encouragement quotes that relate to almost any struggle:
Encouragement Quotes
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. "
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Fall seven times, stand up eight."
~ Japanese Proverb
"A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn. "
~ Unknown
"We aim above the mark to hit the mark."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
~ Dale Carnegie
The understanding part
Understanding their tendencies and personality traits is critical in knowing how best to reach out. Below is a list of 5 general behavorial catagories and several character traits that fit each area.
These catagories cover a cross-section of potential responses and are not all inclusive. There may be others that would touch more accurately to your situation. The intention is to stop and think through your child's normal behavior and to get a better sense of how to respond.
By knowing this, a parent will be more conscious of when words of encouragement are needed. Finding ways to genuinely encourage your child, in a compassionate and empathetic way, will make a world of difference in handling challenging situations.
Personality traits and tendencies
Does not hesitate to try new things...
Bravery
Standing firm under difficult or dangerous situations
Confidence
Believing in oneself or others
Imaginative
Ability to initiate new ideas or direction
Finishes projects thoroughly...
Careful
Gives attention to details, errors, and risk
Conscientious
Staying focused on goals and direction
Diligent
Is dedicated to work until completion
Faithful
Fully devoted to a person or cause
Enjoys being with people...
Cooperative
Willingness to participate will others
Friendly
Warm and responsive to others, approachable
Hospitable
Looks for opportunities to be welcoming to others
Reaches out to help others...
Compassionate
Deep awareness of need and the desire to have it taken care of
Forgiving
Does not hold wrongdoing against others
Peaceful
Works through issues without agitation
Respectful
Willing to submit to authority gladly
Able to work through conflicts well...
Adaptable
Work through problems and conflicts agreeably
Fair
In a dispute, is free of favoritism
Humility
Not prideful of personal position or ability
Self-control
Able to handle distress and conflict without dwelling on negatives
Understanding the problem
When children deviate from their normal behavior there may be issues that need addressing. Facing these problems is not easy – even for adults. Situations that your child may face can be painful or embarrassing. Children may respond in surprise, shock, anger, hurt, withdrawal, or in a subdued manner.
Parents can usually detect when there are problems. The temptation is to step in and correct the issues immediately. The thinking is that you don't want to have your child be set back in their development or hurt by circumstances. There are times, however, when immediate action is not required. Words of encouragement from a distance may help them grow the most effectively.
For typical challenges that children face, it is good to encourage them to work through the issues. By working through the problems on their own, they will build self-esteem and confidence for the future. Be sure to keep a watchful eye on progress and be available to help or communicate. Daily words of encouragement by parents may be required to get a child on the right track.
Developing an environment that emphasizes open communication will help children express clearly what they percieve the challenges to be. Encourage them to share their feelings. Don't immediately force a solution.
Encourage them to explore options on their own. Use words of encouragement that express confidence in them and that you look forward to seeing their progress. Be available to walk through the process with them. Self motivation by the child is what you want to see.
Sometimes the problems seem insurmountable. In growing up, children encounter many new experiences. The tendency is to run away from fears that surface. This pattern can lead to lower self esteem and a feeling that they are incapable in certain areas.
Overcoming fears
To a child, it may look like their efforts are a complete failure or that the mountian is too high. The pain and suffering that is felt make them want to give up. Anxiety levels build. However, there is usually something in their actions or attitude that can be noted that will encourage and build up. Just the effort they put forth is worth commenting on.
It is also important to give praise honestly and appropriately as challenges are overcome. Words of encouagement will become hollow if the child knows they are not deserved. The table below list typical problems that children face and common responses that might result:
Response to challenging life issues
Issue
Typical Response
Uncomfortable in front of others
Stays away from groups and group activities.
Not able to keep up with school work.
Does minimum in a half heartedly way.
Giving a class report
Feels ill and wants to stay home.
Going to the Doctor
Fearful and distraught.
Trying a new activity.
If there is a choice, they turn down opportunity.
Being teased by peers
Express anger and stay isolated
Performance in sports is not as expected
Loose interest and passion.
Everyone has faced issues like these. The answers to solve these problems are complex and will not come instantly. For children, the response is usually to get away from the pain. They do not see the missed opportunities to grow and experience success. Parents, on the other hand, are usually able to see longer term ramifications. Words of encouragement becomes very important.
Children are usually not self motivated enough to take action on growth areas. Developing their mind, body, and spiritual sides is not something actively think about. To encourage the mind of children, books that bring out their curiosity to learn and explore. You can read to children, stories that instruct and stretch the imagination. Also good for children, games that challenge and inspire. Cut down on screens. The media influence on children can be profound.
The physical aspect is often overlooked. Obese children are not in short supply. Encourage your kids to turn off the television and do something that gets their heart pumping. It might even help to have a weight chart for children to monitor progress. Most most children, activity should be fun as well as effective. Playing fast outdoor games with your children if you can. Also, promote healthy eating for children who may prefer high fat foods.
Allowing your children to grow spiritually is equally important. There are many free sunday school lessons. Children love to here or read for themselves stories from the Bible. Saying prayers for children is also a good way to show that a relationship with God can be real and personal. Bible crafts and bible games have additional value.
Working through issues
Growing up is not easy. Children go through many phases and experiences. Parents go through the same phases from a different perspective. They are also learning how to be parents and to encourage in an effective way. Overcoming fear and anxiety, handling adversity, and developing a good self esteem comes through a slow building process.
The following steps are helpful in carrying out this important function:
Don’t rush in with instant fixes.
Clarify positives. Not everything is dismal.
Let child know that there is adequate time to work on the issues.
Take small steps. This will show success.
Focus on doable activities. (Even unrelated things, to build confidence. )
Continue to show love and acceptance throughout.
Look for opportunities to point out successes.
Participate with your children as much as possible.
Use Words of encouragement.
Negative experiences from the past can be overcome by
Words of encouragement.
are key to building a confident child.
