Workload and honesty

Priorities | Honesty | Sensitivity | Asking for help

The practice of balancing workload and honesty greatly helps reduce unfair burdens. There is a tendency to want to be all things to all people. To be completely available to family, coworkers, school mates, and others. It is hard to say NO!

The natural desire is to look for acceptance. To be significant and respected. And the commitment is obviously important to those who are asking. But looking honestly at the effort and resources required, what is being asked is not appropriate.

Often times the answer is "Yes" so that the requestor is not offended. Or there may be just too much pride to say "No". Or we don't want to let someone else down.

The extra work may be very doable. However, other important priorities and relationships begin to suffer. There is more pressure to stay on top of things. When I realize that I am in a bind, stress comes in. My frustration can impact everyone around me. Disappointment, discouragement, resentment, and sometimes anger occur.

One example is dealing with the many invitations we get for our children to attend birthday partys. Since our children are young, we need to buy gifts, take them to the party location, and usually stay with them during the party.

There are often 2 or 3 invitations a month. It is fun for the children, but very time consuming at the same time. Our kids want to go, but we have to draw the line somewhere. It is sometimes hard to answer No when we just don't feel like it.

Another simple example is inviting guests into home. It is something we want to do as a family. However, the wife is usually the one faced with preparing the house and the meals.

This is can be a deceptively difficult task. She wants to please, but knows that her schedule is busy even without this added pressure.

How should we respond when faced with these decisions? Here are some helpful guidelines:

• Say No with respect and empathy.
• Let it be known that you are not passing over this request lightly.
• Give clear and honest answers
• Too Busy
• Want to focus on other things.
• Not comfortable with the task.
• Don't say maybe. This can send the wrong signals.

Balancing workload and honesty helps reduce stress and promotes clear, direct communication.

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